Dots

Sometimes I find I let my mind wonder & realize I am just going through the motions but really not spending any effort thinking about what I was actually doing.  Those moments come all too often while I am driving, not that I take my focus off driving it's just an easy time to let my thoughts drift especially in the rare case that the kids are asleep or actually chatting with one another & not yelling, trying to hit/take/or tell on one another then I am able to process a thought, I find my mind starting to churn.  Guess that happens to all of us.  It's the moments for me when I do get "downtime" that my brain can decompress.  Almost like you know you have to be on all the time & don't get that moment to think or to sit then when you do you realize that you're tired & actually do have a lot on your mind.  When you're surrounded by kids and you spend your day pretty revolving around them, you don't get much of a chance to actually have a thought for yourself. You're constantly thinking of the next thing you need to do or get done.  It's even that way when I am at them gym.  Lots of ppl say that's their "me" time & while yes you are doing something for yourself, which is "me" time but my mind doesn't stop thinking about what I need to do in the hour that I will have left before I have to go get Harrison from preschool, and if I should race home & shower or go to the grocery store or maybe there's something else I need to do, and can I fit it in or should I wait until after I get Abbie but then that starts the homework, play outside get dinner made time.  As with everyone it's a struggle.  We all know this & we all go through it.  And while there's comfort in that it doesn't change that it's everyday.  I wonder why it is that way?  Why is there always so much?  How is it that there's so much.  It's a never ending race to do, do, do.  Not in a way that you have to "do" to excel but just to "do" because it's the way it is.  The daily routine, the rat race, whatever it is, it's always the same.  We just experience it differently.  I wouldn't want it any other way & some days I may want to pull my hair out but really couldn't imagine how it could be or would be if it were different. 

The next 2 months are going to be pretty busy for me, between Abbie's school and Church activities and with A & H starting sports through the Y.  Next week is teacher appreciation week and there's not much that I physically have to do for that but we (room-moms) have to get news out to our classroom about it & come up with a game plan for what we're going to do for our teachers each day.  At some point this month the kids start their activities at the Y, we'll see how that fits.  Benjamin's birthday is also this month, I can't believe my baby is going to be 2.  He's getting to be such a big guy.  Then we have Spring Break, Easter Parties with UCM, Church, preschool.  The kids love Easter so I am looking forward to that with them plus the Easter Bunny always brings the best chocolate :). Then there's the Bethel Bash, right after Easter, we (room-moms) have several things for the class to do & to participate in that night of the Bash.  Plus add in a few meetings and daily life, you see why it's a busy time.

Well, I guess that's it for now.  I probably could go on & on but then I would bore you and I'd have to stop listening to Criminal Minds.  hehe! 

My Lil Visitor

So for the past few months my lovely good sleeping lil Benjamin has stopped being such a good sleeper & now wants to be with me.  Every night around midnight, the lil steps of his feet come scurrying down the hall until he reaches my room & announces "momma's bed"  It's not all that bad but it's an interruption to the night & then starts the "milk, mama" "where, paci go?" questions so the days of my few precious months of sleep are gone and don't get my wrong, during those few months it wasn't like I was getting 8 hours every night because as we all know, at least one child has got to need something at any given moment during the night.  But I thought I was on the end of having to wake up so much during the night, and I know "this too shall pass" but I would really like to go back to the days of just laying him down & saying "night, night"  For if you really look at it, let's go back to 2006, when I was pregnant with Lil Harrison thus starts the sleepless nights, from the relentless bladder attacks to the body creeks, in '07 he is born & for the next 16mths we spend with countless ear infections & him attached to me for food and just as I am starting to wean him, I find out I am pregnant with Benjamin & by far my achiest pregnancy, so proceeding with the lack of sleep for the next 9mths & then another 13months while he is dependant on me for food.  And that brings us to him sleeping, and me sleeping for the 1st time in 4 yrs.  And while it was short lived it will come back & I guess I could fight Benjamin coming into my room & play the whole lets go to your room game, but even at midnight I have lost the will to fight & I am tired; so he sleeps with me & bumps daddy to his bed.  Which is kind of funny.  I know this time next year I will look back & relish in the days that he wanted to snuggle with me but right now, I wouldn't mind a night or two in my own bed without any visitors.